Where it all Went Wrong
by AnLoSt
Summary: How the conversation might have gone differently between Harry and Dumbledore at King's Cross. One-shot


It all belongs to J.K Rowling.

Words in bold are direct quotes from her works.

**Where it all Went Wrong.**

Harry sat with Dumbledore in contemplative silence. It could have been a moment. It could have been an eternity. Harry did not care. **The realisation of what would happen next settled gradually over Harry in the long minutes, like softly falling snow.**

"**I've got to go back, haven't I?"**

"**That is up to you."**

"**I've got a choice?"**

"**Oh yes." Dumbledore smiled at him.**

Harry was no longer listening. _I've got a choice. _The words echoed in Harry's. For the first time Harry truly felt he had control over his own life and what he would do with it. He glanced around. Kings Cross Station. _Fitting, _Harry thought.

"I think" said Harry interrupting Dumbledore, "I think that I have a train to catch."

"Well my boy" Dumbledore began jovially and stopped. "You, you."

"Yes" responded Harry. "I have a train to catch."

"But, but."

"Butting is for goats, Headmaster." Harry could not help but grin. For once Harry was going to choose the course of his life.

"Your friends, Harry.'

"Friends. Friends who never once bothered to try and get to know me. Never saw beyond the idol of your creation."

Dumbledore winced, "I am sure that's not true. Harry, you must"

"Do you know I hate quidditch." Harry said cutting across Dumbledore. "Can't stand it really, stupid game."

"But you were"

"What, what was I Headmaster? Best Gryffindor had ever seen, youngest seeker in a century. I was never even asked if I wanted to play. The day I was made seeker, I thought I was going to be expelled. When Professor McGonagall asked for Wood, I thought it was some kind of punishment. You know like the cane."

"Harry, I'm"

"Sorry. Yes, I'm sure you are, Headmaster. Flying on the other hand. Now flying, I loved. The only reason I played quidditch was so I could fly."

"Your friends care for you Harry."

" Are you so sure Headmaster?"

For once Dumbledore did not respond.

"Would you like to know what Ginny said to me the day of your funeral. Because that was the day that brought it all out to the open, so to speak."

"Only if you think it is important."

"Oh but it is. A most pivotal moment in my life, as Hermione would say. And you know all about those, don't you Headmaster."

"Yes, Harry,' Dumbledore conceded in defeat. 'I would like to know"

Harry smiled, it was not a pleasant smile and Dumbledore inwardly shuddered. "She told me that she knew I wouldn't be happy unless I was chasing down Voldemort. The one person who should have known better than anyone, didn't believe I would be happy unless I was being the hero."

Dumbledore smiled at Harry sadly. "I'm sure it wasn't meant how it sounded."

"Don't worry Headmaster, it gets worse."

"Worse?"

"Yep." Harry responded cheerfully. "You see, Ginny then told me that was why she liked me so much, and that was when I knew."

"Knew what Harry?" Dumbledore asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

"That it didn't matter what I did, I would only ever be 'the-boy-who-lived', even to my friends. You ensured it"

"There are many who hold you dear. Many who look up to you", Dumbledore said softly.

"Me, or the-boy-who-lived. I've often wondered," Harry continued thoughtfully, "how on the day Hagrid took me to Diagon Alley that everyone knew who I was."

"Well your story was remarkable. What you had survived, it was bound to be talked about."

"Not of me," Harry replied rolling his eyes. "But who I was. I had supposedly been hidden from the world for ten years. I could have been any child, yet they all knew. Even Hermione recognised me on the train our first year and her parents were dentists. She had no more knowledge of the magical world than I did, yet she recognised me. And Let's not forget those stupid Harry Potter books, remarkable likeness of me on the cover wouldn't you say."

"Yes, well I'm"

"Yeah, yeah, I know your sorry. You had almost ten years to build up your idol and forget that you had taken a baby from all he had ever known and abandoned him with strangers."

"They are your family Harry."

"Headmaster" said Harry, a spark of anger glimmering in his eyes. "I maybe be related to the Dursley's by blood, but they are not now, nor have they ever been family."

"But your Aunt"

"Her life was changed that night too and no one had the decency to tell her."

"Well I left a letter."

"A letter," Harry snorted. "How would you feel, if you got up one morning to a letter, telling you that the child found on your doorstep, was your nephew, that you had to look after him. And an Oh, and by the way your sister is dead."

"Harry, I"

"What, you're sorry again, that we all make mistakes. Sorries don't change the past, Headmaster."

"It was for the best."

"The best, whose? Yours, the wizarding worlds? It certainly wasn't mine, it definitely wasn't what was best for my aunt and her family."

"The wizarding world was in turmoil Harry. I was trying to keep you safe."

"Safe", Harry laughter. "Do you even know the meaning of the word. You dumped me on a doorstep in the middle of the night, without a care in the world. In winter I might add . How safe do you think that was. But then it was all for the Greater Good, wasn't it Headmaster."

Harry sighed, and shrugged his shoulders. "My Aunt never stopped resenting you for it you know. You took away her choice of a nice, normal life. I would have given it up if I could."

"Given up what?"

"Magic."

"You'd have given up magic", Dumbledore said shocked, disbelievingly.

"Of course, I would. What did having magic ever do for me, except make me an outcast. Something to be feared. I would have given up anything to fit in, anything to be a part of their normal family."

"I didn't know Harry, I didn't know."

"Now don't tell lies Headmaster, it doesn't become you."

Dumbledore spluttered….

"I told you at the end of my first year, in the hospital wing. I'm sure you remember. Really, how many eleven year olds do you come across that beg not to be sent home. Every stop to think about why. But you already knew how I was treated, you just didn't care."

"Of course I cared, my dear boy. I cared more than you could possibly know."

"Lying really is beneath you Headmaster. If you had truly cared you would have done something about it. Actually made sure I had the childhood that you professed to wanting me to have."

"I didn't know it was that bad."

"Didn't know or didn't want to know" said Harry angrily. "I was treated as a house elf, and you thought that was a perfectly acceptable childhood. What were your words again. What did you tell me the night Sirius died. Ah yes, **I knew you had suffered. I knew you would when I left you on your aunt and uncle's doorstop. I knew I was condemning you to ten dark and difficult years**. So tell me again how much you cared, Headmaster."

"You must learn to forgive Harry."

"Why? Forgiveness is earned Headmaster. Why must I show forgiveness to others when I was never shown any in return. Ron never forgave me for being famous and having money. The wizarding world never forgave me for not being the perfect little hero. Snape"

"Professor Snape, Harry, and he has bared more than most would suffer."

"Snape was nothing but a small-minded, bigoted, bully of a man. He abused his position of power and made my life hell all because I was James Potter's son."

"Love is a power beyond all others and it's loss can come at a terrible price."

"Love" Harry scoffed, _yeah right. "_I saw his memories Headmaster, that was not love. That was obsession. But then what would I know, I was raised without love. You saw to that, didn't you Headmaster."

"What, no answer for me Headmaster. Never mind, I must be getting on, train to catch, you know."

"But your sacrifice Harry."

"What sacrifice"

"For the wizarding world, what you have done to arrive here."

"You think I gave my life for them. Oh you are too funny Headmaster", Harry chuckled. "The only one that I would give my life for was Hedwig and she was already taken from me. So no, I did not sacrifice my self for any of them. They were not worth it. Nothing. That's what it came down to in the end, nothing, there was nothing worth living for. Nothing worth saving."

"Come on Headmaster, cheer up. You did plan for this you know. My death, you should be happy. I followed your plans until the very end. Like a good little boy."

"Cat got your tongue, Headmaster, or should that be kneazle. Meh, it doesn't matter. Well don't worry, for the Greater Good and all that rot. You know you really should be thankful, with all our similarities, with how our lives paralleled, you should be absolutely ecstatic that you didn't create another Voldemort. So no harm done then. I'll be off on my next adventure, maybe I'll see you there. But, you know what Headmaster, I sincerely hope I don't."

Albus Dumbledore watched Harry enter the train, leaving the station. Tears streaming down his face, wondering where it all went wrong.


End file.
